I remember what I was doing five years ago today. I had been on bed rest for a week with a doctor appointment the following day so I decided to make a trip to Walmart, just in case we might meet our baby the following day. I remember feeling huge, but so proud of my big belly! I remember trying to enjoy my time with Jeremy before a newborn would upset our normalcy. I remember anticipating my baby and how she would smell, look, feel, smile, and cuddle. I was scared of labor and delivery. I wanted to hold my baby!
My baby is turning 5 tomorrow. At 6:32 pm. She's growing more independent every day. She's smart, loves Legos and Barbies, thinks she's older than she really is, and doesn't listen well at all. She loves her baby sister, gets afraid at night and crawls in our bed, and tries to negotiate most things in her favor. I've watched her when she doesn't know I'm watching. She sings with all her might, talks to herself, uses manners around other people, dances around the house, and thinks she is hiding from us all the time.
She is gorgeous. I watch her while she sleeps and notice she has a few freckles on her nose now. Her nose is still a cute little kid nose, her eyelashes are perfect, and she has the prettiest strawberry blonde, curly hair that gets complimented every where she goes.
This past year has been full of changes. She started the year by going to a babysitter full time and now she is in a five day PreK program at St. Joseph catholic school. She loves school, even though she complains every day. She has made a few friends, but she's surprised me with how sensitive she is. She can be very assertive at home, but at school she seems to watch things going on more. We went to holiday world over the summer, to visit our friends and family in Indiana several times, had our first hotel stay over New Years, and had our first sleepover with Libby.
I'm amazed by what I've learned since becoming a mommy. First, the relationships with other moms has been the most awesome!!! I've made friends from her sitters, school, and from when she took swim lessons in March. Abby has also helped me to see the world from a kids point of view. I've watched her figure out how to put puzzles together, decide which colors to use when drawing, get upset because her fort fell down, run super fast, learn to hop, and get scared during movies. She's made me aware of how kids interpret things. I definitely think more before I say things now. And, we constantly argue during clean-up time.
I never could have imagined how much I could love someone. How much I want her to find her independence, but keep her sheltered at the same time. How much attention it would take to help her become smart, loving, caring, thoughtful, and generous. How much I want time to stand still when I'm with her.
So tonight I let my four year old fall asleep in my arms.
Because tomorrow she will be five!!
My wish is that she grows into a thoughtful, caring, and well-rounded woman. I hope she never has to worry about how much she is loved. That she is healthy and happy. And I hope she knows how much I appreciate being her mommy. I love you with all my heart, Abigail Leigh!
